Am I Trapped in Emotional Spending?

Thought I'd start with some statistics today. Listen to this one. 63% of Americans admit they've made emotional purchases. It was how they felt. And those who emotionally spend. Listen to this one.Three quarters said it leads to overspending. And nearly 4 in 10, 40% say it's even caused debt or financial strain. They may be saying, okay, Ralph, what are the most common emotional triggers?We're gonna talk about all this on today's show. But the most common one, stress is the number one at 50%, excitement number two at 44%. And hey, happiness at 38%.And emotional spending isn't just about sadness. A lot of people think, well, it's only when I'm feeling sad. But it's also about chasing those positive feelings.Which leads us to today's listener question. Ralph, I always promise myself I'll spend less at Christmas, but then I get stressed or I get lonely and end up buying stuff I don't even need.Why do I do that? But more importantly, Ralph, how do I break that cycle of emotional spending? Hey, the truth is, holiday overspending usually isn't a math problem.If it was, we could make a simple fix of it. Most of the time, it's an emotional problem. We don't just buy gifts, we buy comfort, we buy approval and we buy escape.That's what we're going to cover on today's show.

This is Financially Confident Christian. Your daily dose of gospel, grounded insight and faith driven tips help you break the cycle of financial shame with confidence.

Welcome to the show. I'm Ralph. I appreciate you joining me today as we continue to break that cycle of financial shame and do it with confidence.We're continuing in our Getting through the Holidays Without Going Broke series. And truth is, I've seen how many times these emotions can wreck more budgets than just bad math. And I felt that same pool myself.You might be listening right now. You're like, ralph, this, this episode's for me, man. I'm feeling that right now. I don't know how many times I've been buying stuff to feel better.Not because I really needed anything, just because I wanted that emotional high from that. Now I'm a tax guy. Tax season is my main job. And I remember one tax season now. Tax season is excruciating.I mean, talking about long hours, deadlines out there wazoo. I remember after once listen to this, you're not going to believe this. I bought myself a new suv. Hey, talk about a big monthly payment.Yeah, it didn't ease my stress though. What it did was just added guilt. Now, I could rationalize that.I said, well, that's my big reward after a tough tax season, working those long hours and those tight deadlines.And sure, I had made some money doing it, but what I didn't realize at the time is what I was really dealing with was this emotional buildup over the days and the weeks and the months of tax season. And this purchase, it was like buying an escape. And I love what this behavioral economist, Dr. Daniel Kahneman said.He said spending often follows emotion, not reason. Now, we can park there for a little bit, think about what he's saying there. It's following emotion, not reason.So today on the show, let's talk about how to break that cycle of emotional spending. I've got five points to cover today, which are really going to help you break that cycle of emotional spending.Number one thing, we got to start here. You got to recognize your triggers. This is the key. This is the secret sauce of this today. What are your emotional triggers? Is it loneliness?Is it comparison? Hey, social media have you comparing to everybody. For a lot of people, it's nostalgia.Oh, I remember when we buy those things because, oh, I remember when and when we feel those emotions, those triggers, it makes us reach for a while. So that's the first thing. Understand your triggers. Second thing I'm going to encourage you to do is name the feeling.A lot of people don't think about this, but when you're feeling those things, hey, listen, you might be. People might think you're crazy because you're talking to yourself, but I firmly believe in this. Say things like, I'm anxious, I'm tired.Because when you acknowledge those things, hey, they say all the time, acknowledgement is 99% of the battle. When you acknowledge it, it weakens its control over you. So that's number two. Number three, here's a good one for you today. Substitute gratitude.When you're thinking about buying something. Stop. Stop for a second. Just say, you know what, Ralph? There's three blessings that I could, that I could really embrace before I buy something.And let me tell you right now, look for contentment, because it works. When you feel gratitude about something, it really completely shuts down that impulse. So that's number three is substitute gratitude. Number four.I call this the pause, the big pause. Delay that purchase. If you're shopping online, put it in that cart and let it simmer for 24 hours.You don't know how many times I've done this myself. You might be listening right now. Saying, ralph, it works great. I'm gonna try that again.But for me, Ralph, I gotta do 48 hours, because overnight just isn't enough. Maybe for you, it's a week. But then ask yourself, do you still want that after that pause period? Maybe you do. Maybe you go buy it.Hey, then it's a good decision, right? And I've talked about that on the show many times. But that's one of the things that you can really listen.I've had clients tell me and people listening to the show say to me, Ralph, this pause works great. I'm encouraging you to do that. And finally, number five, and I probably should have put this one first. That Abby's nodding her head.She's like, you should put this one first. Pray first. Sometimes a simple prayer. Just ask God for wisdom in your decision.If you just pause for a second, think about what you're doing there, you're putting things in terms of, how does God see this? You're really going inside of yourself and naming those things. Which leads me right to our Bible verse. Guess What? We got two Bible verses for today.The first one is Proverbs 16:32. It says, Better a patient person than a warrior. One with self control than one who takes a city. What's Scripture telling us?A patient person, self control. That's the things we talked about today. Let's look at Philippians, chapter 4, verse 11. I love this one. It's all about contentment.I've learned to be content whatever the circumstance. See, the truth is, when I went back and look at that purchase I made after tax season, it was completely emotional. I had a perfectly fine vehicle.I was just looking for that dopamine high, that emotional high. But if I really had thought about it and just embrace contentment, I would have avoided making that purchase. Well, let's pray together right now.Lord, we come to you right now.And we're emotional people, Lord, So we ask you right now to help us see that emotion drives our spending, Lord, and give us peace and give us contentment when we feel empty. And fill us with your love and with your joy.And, Lord, we ask that you would help us to find joy in what we already have and what you've already blessed us with. And we ask this in confidence, in the name of Jesus. Amen. All right, you ready for your action item for today? Okay, here's the big deal.Here's what I want you to do before your next purchase when you're starting to feel that inkling. Oh, I'm going to Go buy something. Ralph, write down one emotion you're feeling, whatever that is. I'm feeling lonely.I'm feeling, hey, a lot of times it's boredom. I'm feeling comparison. Whatever those things are, write it down and pray about it. Let's see if you still make that purchase afterwards.All right, well, here's what I want you to do for me today. One of the things that I'd love to do is share the show with other people. We build this audience when you go out and tell people about the show.So I'm going to encourage you to do that today. Maybe you know somebody else that's always spending and they're like, hey, you know, Ralph had this great show today. Just send them to our website.That's right at financiallyconfidentchristian.com hey, we can go see all of our shows there. This whole 30 day series will be there again. Just share the show with them, send them a text, send them an email.Hey, pick up the phone and call them. Say, hey, if you're having a hard time at Christmas, I got the guy for you to listen to.Financiallyconfidentchristian.com well, thank you for joining me today. Remember, spending less isn't about guilt. I don't want you to live in guilt. It's about peace and about freedom.So when you pause, when you pray and when you choose contentment, you're not just saving money, you're growing in wisdom. And you're being a financially confident Christian. So I'm going to encourage you right now. Stay financially savvy out there.God bless you and I'll see you tomorrow on the show.