Can Intentional Spending Reduce Budget Stress?

Got an email from a listener the other day, and I thought this was a great one, and I want to answer it on today's show.

And she asked me this.

She said, ralph, should I stop doing a budget if it's causing me a great deal of stress?

And that's exactly what I want to talk about on today's show.

Hey, there.

Welcome back to your financially confident Christian.

I'm Ralph.

I'm here.

I'm your guide to help you along life's path of navigating your financial journey.

And I do this show every day because my goal is to help you break that cycle of.

Of financial shame and do it with confidence.

And today I got this great listener question, and this is from Sheila.

And Sheila said this.

She says, ralph, if my budget is causing me a great deal of stress, should I just stop doing it?

And you know, Sheila, I thought that was a great question, and it was worthy of being on the show today.

And I started thinking about, okay, well, what is causing you stress?

What specifically is causing stress?

And I started to think about the word budget.

And, Sheila, I'm betting that it has to do with your mindset.

Most people hear the word budget, and the first thing they think is restriction.

I can't do these things.

And so many people that I've talked to over the years.

Listen, I've been in practice for 30 years, and so many people that I've talked to over the past 30 years have all said to me, ralph, I want to save money.

I want to make better financial decisions.

But the idea of doing a budget, Ralph, I just feel like that's like going on a diet.

Let me just tell you, like, right now, I've been on a diet for a while now.

Give you a little bit of my backstory.

About 15 years ago, I landed at the doctor's office, and he said to me, he said, ralph, he said, you're going to pop.

I said, well, what's going on, doc?

He said, well, right now your blood pressure is 200 over 100.

I said, is that high?

Because.

Yeah, it's a.

It's so high, Ralph, I should put you in an ambulance and send you to the hospital.

So what did he say to me?

He said, right away, we got to get that blood pressure down.

He said, you need to go on a diet.

And I thought, oh, great.

I've been on diets my entire life.

I'm the definition of a yo yo dieter.

And why did I have such a negative feeling about that?

Because as soon as he said the word diet, the first thing that popped into my head was restriction.

I can't do this.

I am not able to do this.

Don't do these things.

And Sheila, I bet in a lot of ways that's probably what's causing you stress.

Somebody said to you or you decided, you know what, Ralph, I need to start doing a budget.

So I put together a budget.

Maybe it's very simple for you.

It just started with your income and then you listed your expenses and you're starting thinking, yeah, but then if I want to go out with my friends on the weekend, I can't do that.

If I want to take that quick trip for a quick weekend getaway, I can't do that.

Or if I want to go out to dinner with my spouse or something like, I can't do that.

Or if I'm window shopping or online scrolling, I call it the desk scroll online on Amazon, I can't do that.

But here's the thing I want you to understand, Sheila, it's not that you can't do that.

And this is the mindset shift.

I really want you to sort of focus in on today.

It's not that you can't do that.

I want to change the verbiage a little bit here for you.

I'm going to have you start to think about this in.

Instead of using the word budget, I want you to start thinking about intentional.

Because truly what a budget is at its very core is an intentional decision.

It's an intentional spending plan.

A friend of mine, Karen, she does a Block a Marriage and Money blog.

I encourage you to check it out.

But she uses the term intentional spending plan.

And I really think that's a great way to encapsulate this.

Because the truth is what you're trying to do is you're trying to be intentional in your spending.

You're trying to give every dollar a job.

For example, you're going to say, these dollars are for giving, these dollars are for saving.

These dollars are for that mortgage comp payment because you want to have a place to live.

These dollars are for that car payment.

These dollars are for my entertainment budget.

I use the word budget again.

See, I caught myself.

But it's all about intentionality.

Now, in my personal view, intentionality shouldn't necessarily lead to stress because, see, most of the times I think people get to a level of stress because they have anxiety, because they're going to make a mistake.

And here's another thing I want to share with you right now, Sheila.

If you're looking for perfection, you're going to be in trouble because you're never going to be perfect at this.

Listen, I've been doing accounting and consulting financial assistance for 30 years, and I'm going to tell you right now, I struggle with this sometimes.

And you're going to struggle with this, too, Sheila.

So part of the thing that could be causing some of your stress or your anxiety is that you think you have to be a hundred percent on point all the time.

Well, you're just not going to be.

That's not a realistic expectation.

But when you have that intentional spending plan, then you go and look at.

Okay, here's what my intentional spending plan was.

This week I wanted to spend $130 on groceries.

Well, if you're tracking your income, you're tracking your expenses, then you can go say, okay, well, listen, this week I spent $150 on groceries.

So you can then make a decision.

Oh, okay.

Well, I don't want to go over my intentionality anymore.

So now, this shouldn't cause you stress.

It shouldn't.

It should cause you some ability to be intentional.

It should cause you the ability to have control.

Because in the end, Sheila, and here's my big takeaway for today.

Instead of stress, start thinking about the word control.

Because the truth of the matter is when we're in control of a situation, my oldest son is great at this.

My oldest son is one of those people and he's in the US Coast Guard and I salute his service.

But he's one of those guys that, that he's intentional in his actions.

When the crap hits the fan, as they say, my son Ryan knows what to do.

He jumps into action.

He has no stress in that situation because he has a plan.

He has control of his facilities.

Well, an intentional spending plan should put you in that same place shield.

So that's my encouragement for today.

Instead of getting stressed, instead of having anxiety, instead of having.

And let me.

Let's call it what it is.

What it is is really fear.

It's fear that you're going to overspend.

So instead of having that fear shield, I just want to encourage you, be intentional.

And listen, the key to that is you're going to then have control of your finances.

So my one action step for today is to change the dynamic, change that mindset and move away from that thought of stress and anxiety and lack of control and start thinking about that intentional spending plan where you don't have anxiety.

You have a clear, structured plan to.

You can test that plan as you actually spend money and more Importantly, you're finally in control.

Well, how about we pray together today, Father God, we just thank you for the ability to really think on these tough financial topics, Lord.

And we know sometimes that we're going to stumble, Lord, and we're going to make mistakes and we're not going to be perfect in the execution of what we do.

But Lord, we know you're a Lord of grace and we know you're a Lord of always being there for us.

So, Lord, we just ask that you would come alongside us right now.

And, and I especially ask for blessings for Sheila as she battles this situation with stress with her budget.

Lord, I just ask that you would empower her, give her strength to really see this not as a restriction, but as a way to actually gain control and have the peace that you want us, a peace that surpasses all understanding, Lord.

And we ask this in confidence in Jesus name.

Well, listen, I just want to thank you for listening today.

If you found value in today's show, I want to encourage you.

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It's called how to Become a Financially Confident Christian.

I want to give you a free copy of that book.

You can get to that by going to financiallyconfidentchristian.com becoming go get your free copy today and let's start to break that cycle of financial shame and do it with confidence.

So as I part today, I just wish you well.

I know you've got the ability to do this.

I have confidence in you.

I have faith in you.

Have faith in yourself.

God bless you.

And you have a great day today.