How Do I Build Enough for My Daughter to Live On After I'm Gone?

Today we're going to talk about the question that no parent wants to ask out loud. What happens to her when I'm gone? Not if, but when.Now, maybe you've been carrying that question for years, maybe you've never said it exactly like that, but it's there.It's that nagging thing that wakes you up at three in the morning and she needs you in a way that doesn't have an expiration date and that might be different than people around you and you're starting to feel something. You're running out of time to get this right. So today I want to talk about some practical things. We're going to talk about an able account.We're going to talk about a special needs trust that you've set up but haven't funded and a taxable brokerage that most parents forget to think about. Three tools, 15 years of Runway. Let's build her something that lasts today. Hello and welcome to Financially Confident Christian.Now you may be wondering what is Ralph talking about today? We actually got a listener question and I'm going to get into that in a second, but I want to give you some details.What we've got here is a parent in their 50s and they've got a 23 year old daughter who is autistic and, and has some learning disabilities. And they're asking a very simple question. What's the best place to put a few hundred dollars a month for her long term care?And this is one of the heaviest financial questions a parent can carry. And this is the truth. Planning for this is not giving up. It's actually an act of love.And like I said, we're going to talk about some specifics today. But let's get right to today's listener question. Listener writes this. Hi Ralph. Our daughter is 23, she's autistic and has learning disabilities.We've been working with the county and state to get her services and hopefully an employment. But I need to plan like this might not happen, Ralph. My goal is simple. When I'm gone, I want enough left for her to live on.We have created a special needs trust, but we haven't put anything in it yet. They will transfer everything to the trust when we die. My wife and I were in our 50s. We should have about 15 more years of work ahead of us.I'll be 67, she'll be 70, and we've got a little over a million dollars in retirement accounts. She maxes out her 401k and I max out my Roth IRA. The balance will be paid off then too.Ralph, if I could scrape together a couple hundred dollars more a month, what would be my best options? Would it be just a regular brokerage account? I feel like I know the basics. I'm just wondering if there's something I haven't thought of yet.Thank you. Well, thank you for sending in that question. I want to start off by telling you the foundation you've built here is super strong.And I can tell you're loving parents.But now you're trying to take it to the next level and you're asking me how to grow that extra monthly amount in a way that protects her benefits and, and gives her the most flexibility. You've got an unusual situation here and we're going to talk about this in a second.But you've got to build things in a way that doesn't impact her benefits. This isn't simply building wealth, it's building it with a purpose.So you got to start by knowing what's actually and what's already working and what isn't yet you're ahead of most families in this particular situation. You've got your retirement funded, you've got a trust structure in place and your house is nearly paid off. Those are huge things.But you have a gap here. And that gap is that will to trust transfer only kicking in when you die. And that's why you said nothing's been put in the trust yet. I get that.And you've got a goal of two to $300 a month to build some assets outside of those things specifically earmarked for her care. But you want to make sure you don't have one area where you double up and leave another exposed.So the best starting point is always knowing what you already have. So we've already defined that. But let's go right into an able account that's a B L E. What that stands for is achieving a better life experience.What this is is a tax advantaged account built for people with disabilities. Now, before I recorded today I needed to update this because this actually had some changes in 2026. This is what it is.You can annually contribute $20,000 to this account. If the account holder works, guess what? And they don't participate in an employer sponsored retirement plan, you can add an additional 15,650.So you could put $35,650 into these account. Here's two other things you need to understand as of January 1st of 2026. The ability, the eligibility, age expendit used to be 26 and now it's 46.So as long as this disability began before age 46, you can use this. And I didn't really understand how many people this impacted. But guess what?The National Disability Institute projected around 6 million more people are going to qualify because of moving it from 26 to 46. Also starting in 2026, you can permanently roll over funds from a 529 college savings plan into these ABLE accounts without any taxes or penalties.Now what can you use these for? You can use these accounts for qualified expenses, housing expenses, transportation, education, any assistive technology and basic living costs.Here's why this is so important. If your daughter receives Social Security disability housing paid directly from ABLE can still affect her monthly benefit.So you got to confirm this with a special needs planner. I'm not going to give you the whole here's what this ABLE account does.I just want to start that the ABLE account is likely the first place you should look. But now let's talk about the special needs trust.One of the things that I'm going to encourage you to do is talk with somebody about maybe putting some money into it now instead of waiting till you die. You can contribute to that trust now. And here's why you might want to do that.Assets and tied to trust don't count against any benefit eligibility for your daughter. Trusts give a trustee direct control. These are better for things like real estate for life insurance proceeds and larger payouts.What I have found is most families use both the ABLE account for the day to day operations and the trust for bigger long term assets. But this is one of the things that you've got to confirm with a special needs attorney and make sure that you understand what this can do.You also talked about a regular brokerage. The benefit to the regular brokerage account is you don't have those contribution limits like we talked about a little bit ago.You have full investment flexibility, but at the same time those things aren't protected. And if your daughter inherits that, guess what? It could disqualify her from benefits from Social Security or from Medicaid down the road.So you need to talk to a broker, talk to that planning attorney and understand what you need to do. The trust doesn't have to wait though. And that brokerage isn't wrong.It just has to be structured carefully, which makes me want to go back and look at the full picture. One of the other things you haven't mentioned here is life insurance.This is a great thing to talk about where you name the life insurance beneficiary as the trust. A lot of people overlook this, but even a modest policy adds a meaningful safety net. You've got a million dollars in retirement accounts.Those are going to pass through the estate. But you got to confirm with the planner that the trust can actually receive those assets without a tax problem.So revisit that trust language with your attorney and make sure it's ready to receive contributions today. Now, this might feel a little overwhelming. You don't have to do all this at once.Start with that able account, fund that trust, and revisit this annually. The plan doesn't have to be perfect today. It just has to move forward.Now, I want to dig in a little deeper in something you said because I really respect what you said. You called this child a possible forever child.And I've been sitting with that phrase and I can't help but believe that there's grief in that, but at the same time, there's love in that. And there's something quietly holy in it too.The truth is, when we had kids and most people had kids, we planned that their kids are going to outgrow them at some time when they turn 18 or 21 or whatever that is. We expect to wave goodbye and the kids go off and do their own thing. But you're planning for something really different here.And I've worked with clients just like you. And these are some of the most special people and one of some of the most beautiful people I've ever met.Because you're not just building for yourself, but you're building a life raft for someone who can't build it on their own. And I want to be honest with you. Faith doesn't guarantee that the county or the state's going to come through you.Faith doesn't guarantee that employment is going to work out for your daughter. And fate doesn't guarantee that you're going to live long enough to see this fully funded. But here's what I do believe.God sees that day to day care behind every dollar you're setting aside. And he sees those spreadsheets and he feels the pain of those sleepless nights.And he knows you're a parent doing the hard work and that unglamorous work of love. I want to go to Proverbs 13:22 because.And we'll talk about this in a few minutes, but it says a good person leaves an inheritance for their grandchildren. My friend, you're living out that verse every day. And it's not because you're wealthy.It's because you're thoughtful, your Daughter didn't choose her limitations and you didn't choose those either. But you are choosing something bigger. You're choosing every single day to show up for her. And that's amazing.That's not just financial planning, that's faithfulness.And I know in my heart whatever happens with these accounts, whether it be the trust, the benefits, you are doing what a parent who trusts God looks like. So keep going. Building for a child who can't build for themselves isn't a burden. You know that. It's one of the most faithful things a parent can do.But let me give you some practical wins for today. I want to encourage you to go look up those, those able account programs in your state before you even go to bed tonight. Understand what it is.There's a website, able nrc.org that lists every state's program.Check out the diagnosis, make sure it's all set, and then write one question to bring to a special needs financial planner and get to know more of what you can do. That one step will cost you nothing and put you ahead of most families in your situation. Now, I talked about this a little while ago.Let's go to Proverbs 13:22. It says good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren, but the sinner's wealth passes to the godly.Today's not about being wealthy, it's about being intentional. It's about planting seeds that you know are going to outlive you because there's a purpose for that. And that's exactly what you're doing today.The accounts you've set up, the trust, the plan, they're all acts of love that are going to keep working after you're gone. Let's pray together. Heavenly Father, I want to bring this beautiful family before you. Right now. You've got a mom and dad in their 50s.They're working hard, they're planning ahead, they're loving a daughter who needs them in ways that most people can never have imagined. So, Lord, right now I want you to give them wisdom as they sort through this difficult situation. The accounts, the trust and all those benefit rules.Give them peace while they're planning and help to keep them from feeling overwhelmed. Protect them from discouragement when the systems are slow and the answers are hard to find.And remind them that the careful, those unglamorous, that year to year and day to day work they're doing is not going unnoticed by you. And yes, help them take that one step this week, just one. Lord, that's enough. And we ask this in Jesus name. Amen, friend. Hear me on this.You've done more than most families ever do. You've set up that trust. The retirement is funded. Your house is nearly paid off. Today's about making the most of the Runway you still have.So like I said, go look into those able accounts. Maybe consider putting some money into that trust right now. Look at that brokerage. Make sure it's going to work.And talk to that special needs financial planner about life insurance because that's one thing I think you might have overlooked. But just take one step this week. Maybe you've got a question, too. Maybe it's not as heavy as this one, just something you want to get off your chest.I want to encourage you to send it to me. You can do that by going to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question We'll put a link to that in the show notes, but it's super simple.Just go to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question Thank you so much for joining me today. I want to encourage you, as always, stay financially savvy. May God bless you.And you have a truly great day today.