How Do I Truly Live With My Budget?

You finally built the budget, and now it feels like it's choking you. You're staring at the numbers that just barely fit, and you're scared that the first surprise is going to break everything.So today on the show, I'm going to talk to you about what you do next to build breathing room without giving up. Hey, friend. Ralph Estep Jr. Here. Thank you for joining me today on Financially Confident. Christian.This is the show where my goal every day is to help you break that cycle of financial shame and really live in confidence.And today we're going to talk about something that a lot of people deal with, and that's making a tight budget feel livable because you might have done a great budget. You're like, ralph, I've got this budget together, man, but this thing is super tight. Well, let's get right into today's question. Ralph.My wife and I just finally finished putting together a family budget. We did it, but it's super tight, and I'm really worried we won't be able to stick to it.You talk about building a budget, and I want to make this work, but I just know how to build some extra room into this, Ralph, so that we don't fail right as we're getting started. Please help. Thank you so much for sharing that very honest question.I commend you because building a budget, especially with your spouse, this is not easy work. So I commend you on that. That's a fantastic place to start. So let's tell you what the big idea for today is. A tight budget becomes sustainable.And that's what we're really talking about today. Because what you're really asking me is, Ralph, how do we sustain this? How do we make this work for the long haul? Well, it's sustainable.And you've already answered your own question. Believe it or not, it's sustainable when you build that breathing room on purpose, even if it's small.So here's the first thing I'm going to encourage you to. They put together this budget, and it's really a fantasy budget.Oh, it'd be great if we spent this much on this, and it'd be great if we spent this much on this. And a lot of times the problem is that budget is not a budget. It's hope. I am a big believer in hope.If you listen to my show, you know I'm all about hope. But when it comes to budgets, you got to be real. This can't be a situation of where you hope you can spend this versus what you actually Spend here.Here's a big takeaway. I'm gonna give you some great stuff right here at the beginning.When you're doing a budget, the number one rule is take a look at what you're actually spending as you're building that budget number. We'll talk about groceries in the next couple days. But as you're thinking about this budget, you've got to adjust those categories.If you put together a budget, because let's say your income is kind of tight and you're like, ralph, we can only spend so much money, you're setting yourself up for failure in that you got to adjust these things, Go through your budget and do this. If something is more of a hope number, circle it, because it's not going to play out. If you don't, you can't do it.Maybe you'll need to adjust that grocery budget. Guess that gas budget. Or maybe get back to that. What is the lowest repeatable number that we can live on?Because, listen, if it's too low to live on, that's not a budget. You know what you've created? You've created a stress plan, and nobody wants to live in stress. So go look at that.Get out of that fantasy world and go say, what are the real numbers? Here's another thing I'm going to encourage you to do, and this is a real practical talk today. Create a tiny life happens line item.You might be saying, oh, okay, where is he going with this one? Guess what? Here's what I've learned. Been around this Earth for 53 years. Life happens. It just does. Small surprises.You get a cold, you get an infection, you got to go get an antibiotic. You weren't expecting it to be $50 at the pharmacy or your kids are sick. School fee comes up. Maybe you're unlucky and you get a tired.It's got a hole in it. You got to go patch it. These aren't splurges I'm talking about. These are surprises. But guess what? They happen to all of us.Even all of us that have budgets. So start building in maybe 20 or $15 or 10, even if $10 into that life happens account.And then when a surprise hits, you don't blow your budget because you use the plan you've already created, that life happens thing. When I look at a new couple putting a budget together, the first thing I add is, where's your life happens budget liner? Look at me like I'm crazy.Life happens. Is there nothing I'm going to encourage you to do? As you're building that budget, build what I call a three level version of the budget.And now you're thinking, oh, Ralph, you already had me build a budget, but now you're saying we got to build three levels. Yes. If you want this to be effective, you want it to work, you want it to get through those lean months, create three levels.I'm going to call them green, yellow, and red. Let's talk about each of those right now. Green. That's a normal. Think about it like you're driving in your car.You're driving down the road, light in front of you, it's green. It's a normal month. What you wrote for your budget works. It was green light, we're going, we're fantastic. Everything is good, everything is working.Then all of a sudden, you're approaching the intersection and the light turns yellow. Let's apply this to your budget. It's a tight month.Maybe your income dropped a little bit, you didn't get the overtime you were counting on, or some life happens thing happened. Go look at your budget and have three, what I call flex items. Maybe that's eating out. Maybe that's your money, your fun money, your Amazon money.But know what those things are ahead of time? These are my yellow accounts. If I've got to cut back, if we're in that, hey, we got a caution flag up here. This is where we're going to flex.Know that ahead of time. Green. Great, keep moving. Yellow. Oh, slow down here. I got a couple things I needed to pause on. Now where we go last, the red month.That's your emergency month. Things are not good right here. Now that's when you got to protect what I call the four walls. The top of your budget.And I think you should rate your budget in these categories. The four walls start at the top. Housing, utilities, food and transportation. You gotta have a place to live.You gotta have utilities on lights and all those things. They're not luxuries. That's what you need to have. You gotta eat.And if you want to keep working, whatever you're doing, you got to have transportation. So start there at the top of your budget. Housing, utilities, food and transportation.And when you find yourself in that red month, you may not get past those. That may be, hey, we can only afford housing this month. We can only afford the utilities. We can only afford food and transportation.There is no fun money this month. There is no, I'd like to do things this month. There is. We're in the red zone. But here's why I like this.Because when you have this planned ahead of time, you don't live in fear because you're like, okay, it's a red month. Ralph told us about this red month. Here's what we do. We go to the red zone, like, you know, defcom red.We're gonna do this, but the fear is gone because you know what you're going to do. Here's another thing. I'm gonna address your question directly. You said we're living really tight. Find one what I'll call Roommaker this week.Just one cut or one boost. Here's one. I always call this death by a thousand cuts. So many of us have a million subscriptions.We've got Hulu and Netflix and this and that and the other thing. Cut one of those. Give yourself some room. Maybe it's one convenience habit.Maybe you like picking up coffee on the way to work, or you like to eat out for breakfast or lunch. I'm sorry, but maybe we're in the yellow zone or we're in the red zone. You cut one of those convenience habits this week.Maybe you look at your budget. Say, can I find the leaks?If you were on a boat and all of a sudden you're in the middle of the pond and you're starting to see water coming into the boat, what's the first thing you do? You start looking around, are there any leaks in this boat? Do the same thing with your budget.Now maybe you're saying, ralph, listen, I've cut everything. This is lean, mean. We got no convenience. We're living on beans and rice.Well, maybe right now you've got to figure out, I got to boost something here. Maybe reach out to your employer. Say, hey, can I pick up an extra shift? Can I work an extra little side hustle?Listen, when I used to do collection work, I used to run a credit union, and I used to do collection work. And I would get on the phone sometimes with people and I would say, hey, I need you to pay your bill. I don't have anything.I'm like, can you sell something? Is there something that's sitting around you're not using? It's a great way to give yourself a little budget infusion. Find an item to sell.Maybe you do a quick service gig. We've talked about that on the show before. You can go back and check out some of our episodes. I about doing some side work.But when you do that, assign that money only to that breathing room. Put it in that life happens or in that starter emergency buffer.Here's another thing I'm going to encourage you to do, run a seven day reset instead of judging the homework. A lot of people say em, and I kind of hear it in your question today. You're like, ralph, I set up this budget.It's super tight, but I just don't know it's going to work. I was having a long discussion with my son yesterday. My youngest son's kind of a negative dude, right? He's always, oh, this is never going to work.And I say son, when you phrase it in that mindset, it's not going to work because you've already determined it's not going to work. So change your mindset every night. Just check in in two months, see how things are going. Two minutes doesn't take any time at all.If you thought we were going to spend this much on groceries, look at what you're actually spending. If you thought you're going to spend this much on utilities, here's what we're actually spending.And when you start to drift, don't throw the whole budget away. You've done so much good work. Just reassign a little bit. Shift stuff around. Yes. Maybe your housing and utility costs are more than you expected.It happens. Those are the four walls you've got to protect. So you may have to shift stuff.Maybe you take money away from those fun categories or that eating out category, whatever that looks like for you. Because even $10 or $20 can keep you in progress to stay engaged. Because it's not about being perfect. This thing, big takeaway for today.Budgets are not cast into some stone tablets that you went up on the hill with Moses and chiseled out. A budget is flexible. It's not perfect. You just have to stay engaged with it. So here's my encouragement for you today. You didn't fail at this.Even if you're saying to me right now, ralph, I put together this budget and it's not working. The budget is learning your life and you're learning how to budget better. So here's my one takeaway for today.And we talked about this a little while ago. Build in that Life happens account and just put $10 in it today. Just something minimal. Doesn't have to be big.I'm going to encourage you to keep building that because it matters. It turns out that next surprise, because listen, life is sure about this.You're going to have surprises, but it turns that surprise from a crisis into a category. Because as I said earlier, life happens. It happens to all of us. Well, let's root this in scripture.I always want to put some scripture in the show every day to really reinforce what we're talking about. And this one comes to us from the book of Philippians, chapter 4:19.If you've listened to this show, you know, I use this frequently because it just really nails what we're talking about. Again, Philippians 4:19. And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. All of our needs.My God, your God, he's rich. And see this, this verse helps us because it reminds you that provision ultimately comes from God. It's not coming from you.So even if you build a wise and realistic plan, guess what? We've all got that backstop. And that backstop is God. So lean into that. He's going to supply all your needs.Now listen, that doesn't mean he's going to make you comfortable. That doesn't mean he's going to give you everything you ever wanted. But what does it say here? He's going to meet your needs. Lean into that today.How about we pray together, Lord, you see the anxiety sitting on our chest right now as we look at this tight budget and you see the fear of one surprise undoing all the progress that we've made. Lord, we just ask that you would give us wisdom for today and peace for this moment.Help us take one small step that creates breathing room, Lord, and teach us to trust you with our provision and to stay steady instead of panicking when these things happen, Lord.And we ask that you would bless our homes, Lord, with unity and clear decisions and really have courage to keep going even when it feels close, even when it feels tight, Lord, because we know we can count on you and we ask this in Jesus name. Amen. Here's my encouragement for you today. Your budget can work. It's going to work because you're staying present.You're not worried about perfection. So go today and really reinforce that it's not about perfection. It's about staying present and letting this thing work for you.And if you've got a question for the show, just like today's question, I just want to encourage you, send it over to me. You can do that by going financiallyconfidentchristian.com/questioni'll put that in the show notes, but again, it's financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question. I want to hear your questions no matter what they are. Send them in. Let's talk about your questions. So thank you so much for joining me today.I really appreciate it. When you give me a little bit of your time. And if you're getting value from the show, I want to encourage you, share the show with somebody else.There's a lot of people out there right now that are hurting. They need hope, and that's what I'm hoping I'm bringing you every day. So God bless you. Stay financially savvy, and you have a great day today.