Love, Money, and God’s Design for Unity

Love and money don't have to clash, but for many couples, they do. Money conversations turn tense, decisions feel heavy, unity feels fragile.And before you realize it, finances start pulling hearts apart instead of drawing them together. Friend. God never designed money to divide what love was meant to unite.So today is about slowing down and breathing and remembering what really matters. So let's reset the heart before we touch the numbers today. Here's the question we're reflecting on today.What is God's design for love, money and unity? And by the end of this episode, you're going to be reminded of a few things.Why money often magnifies what's already there, what God actually cares about more than budgets, and how unity can become the anchor for every financial decision you make. It's not about pressure. It's not about fixing everything. It's just about finding truth and finding peace. Hey, friend. Ralph Estep Jr. Here.Welcome to Financially Confident Christian, where we learn how to walk through life and money with wisdom, with peace, and with a heart anchored in God's truth.My mission on this show every day is to help you break that cycle of financial shame and build those steady habits rooted in faith and truly become a financially confident Christian. And I'm really glad you've joined me again today.Yesterday we talked about setting those boundaries with family and protecting your wallet to actually protect your heart. And today we're going to talk about realignment a little bit more. And today's episode is not about tactics. It's more about foundation.So I want you to breathe a little bit and reset, and let's just sit back and have an honest conversation. Let's return to God's design for love, money, and unity. Here's a question that a lot of couples carry, Ralph.How do we stay united when money decisions feel so stressful? Or maybe even better, how do we keep love with the center when finances feel so overwhelming?And those right there, those are sacred, they're in deep questions. And here's the thing I want you to hear. God cares deeply about unity in your relationship.And if money has exposed some tension, you're not doing marriage wrong. Let me tell you right now. This is the thing I hear all the time from married couples.Money issues cause tension, but you got to have that core unity at the beginning. Most of the time that financial stress reveals differences.Now, these differences could be priorities, like what one person sees as important, the other person might not. What one person says needs for security and another person doesn't. And a lot of times it's about past Wounds.It was those things you don't want to talk about. It was those hurts even from when you were a child.Or maybe your parents didn't do money well, or maybe you were in a relationship before and money became a huge problem. And the problem is money doesn't create the problems. What it does is it magnifies them.It's like taking a magnifying glass and just focusing down on it. And when you start to feel that, you start to feel fear. And you have unspoken expectations and unspoken assumptions.And what you need to hear right now is it doesn't mean you're failing. It just means maybe this is the time where you got to invite God in a little deeper to find that alignment. Because here's an important truth.Money doesn't unite or divide on its own. It's just a tool. But here's the problem. What it does do, it amplifies what already exists.If you're living in fear, if you're living in pressure, if you're living in resentment, it just magnifies that. And when couples are aligned, and I've. Listen, I've met couples that are aligned, money becomes a tool to get them where they're going.But when you're disconnected, money becomes a trigger. It becomes a trigger, like, here's what we're going to fight about today, because it triggers something deep inside you. And hear me on this.God's design isn't perfect finances. It's just having a shared direction. So let's talk about direction today. Let's talk about what unity really is.Because I've walked with many couples through every money season you can imagine. I've seen couples that lived in abundance. I mean, I'm talking. They had. They had it all figured out. They were in great shape.You think, oh, they got it all together. Not necessarily. I've seen couples in scarcity where things are really tight.And let me tell you right now, those were some of the strongest relationship I've ever seen because they had a shared direction. I've seen couples in recovery. I've seen couples in rebuilding.And a lot of times, a lot of people say, well, if their income is good, they don't worry about that. But income isn't the biggest strength. Hear me on this. Strength shows up when unity is chosen. On those hard days.See, unity when things are going great is not hard. Unity. On those tough days, when you're living in that scarcity, that's when, as they say, the rubber meets the road. But see, here's the thing.You need to understand unity is a decision. It's not a feeling. I'm going to lay a little Ralphism on you here right now. People ask me, what's marriage all about?Marriage is about making a decision every day. Notice I said decision to put someone above yourself. See, that's not a feeling. It's, oh, I feel loved today.See, the strongest couples weren't the ones with the biggest incomes. They were the ones who kept choosing, making that decision. Unity over separation. Let me share a picture that stuck with me.I once worked with a couple. Their finances were not perfect. They struggled. They both had issues. One was a saver, one was a spender. They weren't perfect.But you know what they did first before they did anything else? Their first move was to pray together. Yeah. Was there still stress? Of course there was still stress.They still had issues with bills and debt and all these kind of things they brought with them. They brought themselves from their childhood, even. One had parents that were always having the electric turned off.And the other one came from a place of abundance. Peace was present because they took it to God first. See, their first response wasn't to control each other.It was to find that connection, to find that unity. And it was in that connection that they found peace. See, so here's today's central question.And you've got to really ask yourself, if you're in a relationship right now, stop what you're doing and really lean into this question. Who Are your financial decisions pulling you closer together or are they quietly pushing you apart?Now, I don't say that to you to put you in some sense of guilt. I just want you to have awareness about where you are. So let's walk through this.And like I said, this is less about strategy today and it's more about alignment. I'm not going to give you a list of do this, this and this. It's all about alignment today. God's design has always been unity.Now, I'm not talking about sameness, not talking about controlling one another, but unity. And unity doesn't erase differences. It just guides them. See, unity means having a shared direction, a shared path.Even when your perspectives differ, unity isn't about identical opinions. You know, you're not looking for somebody that's going to match exactly what they say most opposites attract, Right? But unity is choosing us.And that's really the key today. Choosing us before choosing me and before choosing control. And see, unity sounds like this. Help me understand this, Rao.Or maybe to your spouse, hey, you know what? We're Going to decide this together. You want to really make it strong. We're on the same side. See, unity means choosing us before choosing control.And money doesn't change people, it just reveals them in reality. And if trust is present, money can strengthen, really can. But if fear is present, money's just going to expose it.It's going to be like tearing off the band aid and the wound still there. And if you're feeling that tension, it's often a signal that we need to get back to unity.It's not a verdict because you can fix this, but you can use tension as a prompt to slow down and ask a better question. If you're living in financial tension again, it's a signal that it doesn't mean you failed. And peace doesn't start with spreadsheets.I wish I could tell you, hey, here's what you could do. Go set up this perfect budget, this perfect spreadsheet, and you're going to have peace. That's a good place to start.But I've seen couples chasing peace through budgets alone, and it didn't work. Peace starts with alignment.Peace starts with listening to your partner, understanding their fears and the security concerns they have, understanding what's important to them. And then it's all about getting on your knees and praying to God for that unity.And once you have that unity, having a shared direction and asking a really tough question, are we still moving the same way? Because when you're working together, that unity, it leads to decisions feeling lighter.Now, I'm not saying it's easy, but just shared and that unity leads. Decisions feel lighter because they are shared. And you don't need to agree on every dollar.Listen, you're going to have disagreements, but what you have to agree on is what matters most. Shared value, shared movement. Shared movement equals peace. For a lot of people, it means stability.I'm not worried about where our next dollars come from. We've put money into savings, we've built that emergency fund. We're not getting ourselves in debt. Maybe for you it's a generosity.You want to be generous. You're lowering that stress level and you're honing God and you're protecting the marriage.That one vision matters more than the peace agreement because God's definition of wealth is deeper than provision. Think about this for a second. A lot of people say, well, we're not wealthy by worldly standards, but God's wealth includes peace.Peace in having a conversation, peace in a direction, and peace in walking forward together. And that peace can exist even when the numbers aren't perfect. I've seen it in my own life.Because peace outlasts income changes and no surprise bills. True wealth is peace in Christ together.Which leads us to today's bible verse, Colossians 3:14 says, and over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. What does it say here? Love. Perfect unity. See, friend, love is the binder. It's not money, it's not plans, it's not control. Love holds it together.That comes down to the tone of the conversations you're having, the posture when you have a disagreement, and the willingness to listen. And that love protects unity while you work on the numbers. And yes, you might have to work on it, but love holds it all together.So here's your simple step for today. I want you to do nothing else than just pray together. Just sit down just one time and pray together.It doesn't have to be some long convoluted prayer. It could be something as simple as lord, put us on the same page. It doesn't need to be polished. Just ask God for unity over your finances.Ask for peace, ask for wisdom. Because that prayer alone, that submission to God, can reset the tone of everything. Why don't we pray together right now?Lord, thank you for your love and unity. Thank you for designing relationships to walk together.Couples place love above money, Lord, and bind them together in unity that lasts beyond their finances. Lord, we ask this in Jesus name. Amen, friend. If you're exhausted by money stress and feel like you're always falling short, I want you to know this.It doesn't have to stay this way. I wrote a book. It's called how to Become a Financially Confident Christian.And it's designed to help you move from anxiety to peace and from confusion to direction. It's not about condemnation. It's not overwhelming, just practical truth rooted in faith.And you can get your copy today at financiallyconfidentchristian.com/becoming again. That's financiallyconfidentchristian.com/becoming friend. Money is a tool, but love is the foundation and unity is God's design.And as we close this Money and Love series, remember this. You don't need perfect finances to walk in God's will. You just need willing hearts. And listen, all of us can have willing hearts, can't we?Well, tomorrow we're going to shift gears completely and we're going to start talking about taxes. It's tax time. And tomorrow we're going to start talking about tax season survival guides, stress free filing for 2026 make sure you join me tomorrow.And if today's episode helped you, or if the last few episodes have helped you share with a couple who need some financial need, just point them right to our show at financiallyconfidentchristian.com because this show is not about shame.It's about learning to walk in wisdom, staying steady, picking one thing a time, one thing a day, and truly becoming a financially confident Christian. So God bless you friend, and I hope you join us tomorrow as we start talking taxes. Have a great day.