Should I Keep Giving While I'm Still Drowning in Debt?

Every Sunday, the plate comes around and you feel torn in two. You want to give, but you owe so much it almost feels irresponsible. So which is it? Do you give or get out of debt first?This is one of the hardest money questions in the Christian life, and it deserves an honest answer because no matter how you look at it, you feel guilty on both sides. But I've got an answer today that's actually more freeing than you'd expect it. So stay with me and. And let's wrestle this with honesty.Hello and welcome to Financially Confident Christian. I'm Ralph Estep Jr. I'm your guide as we help to break that cycle of financial shame and help you to live in confidence.And today we've got a difficult thing to talk about. It's that whole idea of do I give or do I pay off my debt?We got a great listener question, and this listener wants to honor God, but she is buried in debt. And the problem, like so many of us, she feels guilty either way.And I just want to start by saying I understand attention, and both sides of this are real. And if you've got a question for the show, it doesn't have to be quite as deep as this one. I'd love to hear your question.You can get to me by going to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question we'll put a link in the show notes for that. But let's get right to today's listener question. Now, here's the subject line. It says, is it wrong to keep tithing when I'm this deep in debt?And here's what she writes. She says, hi, Ralph. This is something I've been afraid to ask anyone at church. I'm about $30,000 in debt between credit cards and a personal loan.It's heavy, and I'm trying hard to get out. But here's my struggle. I've always given to my church. I give the tithe 10% off the top.But lately I look at the money leaving my account and I think if I pause this even for a year and put it towards my debt, I could get free so much faster. Then I immediately feel guilty, like I'm robbing God or putting money above my faith. But then the other side hits me.Am I being a poor steward by giving money I technically owe to someone else? Ralph I go back and forth and feel guilty no matter what I land on. What does faithfulness actually look like here?Should I keep giving while I'm drowning or focus on the debt first, thank you for taking this seriously. Absolutely. I take this seriously. This is a question I've actually wrestled with in my own mind.There was a season in my life when I had a lot of credit card debt, just like you. And I want to tell you right now what you're asking, and this is why this is going to be a little easier today. It's not a math question.If it was a math question, I would simply tell you, yes, pay off your debt first. But it's not a math question. It's a heart question. The first thing I want to tell you is you shouldn't have guilt in either direction.So today, I'm going to help you build a framework. I'm going to actually show you how you can build generosity and wisdom together. But let's start with this.You've got to release the guilt on both sides of this. Like you said it so eloquently in your question, Ralph, I feel guilty either way. I understand that. That's the Holy Spirit.That's your discernment speaking to you. But let me tell you something. God doesn't keep some eternal scorecards. There's no fear tax if you don't do this. Wisdom isn't faithless.What you've got to aim for is peace and not panic. Think about it like this. And we're going to get a little bit more deep into this in a second. But God wants your heart, not your guilt.And today's Bible verse actually is going to reinforce that. But start there. God wants your heart. He wants you to be a heart person wanting to be generous. Which leads me to the second thing.We've got to remember why we give in the first place. And I heard somebody say this, and I said, this is perfect. We're not funding God. God doesn't need our money.He's the one that gave it to us in the first place. The reason that we give is we build trust in him. We build gratitude in Him.And the bigger issue is we're loosening our grip on something that's not ours in the first place to encapsulate it. It's really about keeping money off the throne. God provides for us. It's not the paycheck. And what he provides for us is worth protecting in the end.We don't give because God needs it. We give because our heart needs it. And that's what your question is really talking about today. But let's get a little bit more in depth.Let's go into the scripture. Let's talk about where the scripture is firm and where it's freeing. The idea of generosity is clearly delineated in Scripture.That's not open for debate. You've got to be cheerful and, and you've got to be generous. But at the same time, it doesn't have to be crushing.So you've got to decide in your heart, not your friend's heart, not the church's heart, not anybody else's heart, your heart. And if you're doing it by compulsion, you've got to examine your heart. But the freedom side of this is the freedom is how much you give.The principle of giving is very firm. I can't argue that in scripture. But the number is flexible. As I said, generosity is the command. The exact number is where grace gives you room.And that's why I said earlier you got to consider both and not just either or. Because what I heard you saying in your question is, Ralph, I've got this $30,000 mountain of debt, and I feel you, that is heavy.But this is one of those typical situations where it's not an all or nothing decision. You can give meaningly and still attack the debt, but you've got to just have a hearty discussion and adjust the amount between you and God.In the end, I want you to be joyful and I also want you to attack that debt. And you actually can do both at once. Like I said, this usually isn't a both and or neither or issue. So how do you do it actually?What's the real step to this? You've got to attack the debt with real intensity. It's all about a sprint. This isn't some stroll to get that debt paid off.Because if you continue to stroll this debt, and we're going to talk about this later in the week, if you continue to just stroll along, this debt is going to balloon and balloon. So right now you've really got to focus on a tight budget and you've got to throw that extra money at at that debt.If that means you got to cut some things, if you got to earn some extra money, the goal is to get free fast, live in the short season, because at some point you're going to have more later. And that freedom that you're going to feel is actually going to fuel your generosity. Because getting free of debt isn't the opposite of generosity.It's actually the fuel for it. Just think about it. If you didn't have that debt, how much more generous could you be?Now, I want to go a little deeper because you said you've been afraid to ask even at Church. So I'm super glad you asked it here. There is no shame in wrestling honestly with how to honor God and how to handle a heavy burden at the same time.Here's what your faith doesn't promise you. It doesn't promise that giving makes the debt disappear.I've summed some of these clowns and talk about, well, if you give, your debt will be expunged. It doesn't work like that. It doesn't promise that there's some easy formula that settles every doubt in your mind.And it doesn't promise that the tension goes away completely. But here's what faith does promise. The God you're trying so hard to honor. And listen, I hear it in the tone of voice. You're trying to honor God.He sees your heart and he sees how your heart is clearly bent towards him because you've been doing it. Think about the widow with the two coins. That's a famous Bible story. And what did Jesus point out? It wasn't the amount, it was her heart.And God sees you. He sees that debt. He sees all of it. And he knows your thoughtfulness.And he knows that even in the midst of that heavy season you're in that you want to honor Him. So my encouragement today is to give from a free heart attack the debt with diligent hands and stop carrying guilt God never handed you.The fact that you're agonizing over this tells me one big thing. You've actually got a beautiful heart. So focus on your heart. Don't focus on that percentage. Find freedom and break free of that fear.So here's your win for today, and it's actually a pretty simple thing. I want you to take 10 minutes and I just want you to pray. I want you to pray about what faithful giving is in this season for you.This is a conversation between you and God. Don't worry about what other people think. Don't worry about what the church is telling you.Just pray to God and say, lord, what would you have me to do? And write down that number. Write down that debt number and just make one decision.Listen, you're not going to solve that $30,000 debt today, tomorrow, or next month, for that happens. But decide that before God. And stop waving, because once you talk with him, he's going to put your heart at rest. And this is all about heart anyway.Which leads me to today's Bible verse. It comes to us from 2nd Corinthians, chapter 9, verse 7. You must each decide in your heart how much to give.And don't give reluctantly or in response to pressure. And I love the ending of this. For God loves a person who gives. Cheerfully, cheerfully. What is it telling you? It says the decision is yours.You didn't hear it say you must do this or you have to do this. It says to give. Yes, but the decision is yours. And when you embrace that scripture, it frees the guilt.It's all about having that cheerful heart, breaking that fear. It's joy and wisdom working together. How about we pray together right now?Heavenly Father, I bring before you someone who loves you, Lord, and they want to honor you with their money even while carrying a huge heavy burden of debt. And Lord, you know what they've been wrestling with. You see the silence. They're so afraid of getting it wrong.Lord, I just want you to meet them with peace today, right in the season they're in, Lord. Help them to clarify that season of giving and that season of paying debt.Lord, I ask that you would free the guilt on every side of this, strengthen them in their attacking that debt. Because you see their heart, Lord, and I know you want it to be cheerful and wise at the same time. So break that cycle of shame for them, Lord.Speak to their heart. And we ask this in Jesus name. Amen. Friend, when you came into today's show, you were torn. But I've given you a path to freedom out of this.Giving and getting free were never enemies. So here's the takeaway. Number one thing, release that guilt. Remember, it's a hard issue. It's not about fear. It's not some eternal scorecard.Reinforce that belief in why we give. It guards the heart about that which we make the throne of our lives. Go back to scripture. It's a command.Yes, we have to give, but he also gives us grace. So do both today, live in that short season that's going to fuel that giving for the future. Once you find freedom.Now, maybe you're struggling with something just like this. I would love to help you one on one. Why don't you send me a voicemail message? It's real easy to do it.Just go to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail we'll put a link right in the show notes. You just click on the link. Record your voice again.That's financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail I just want to thank you so much for joining me today. I want to encourage you, as always, stay financially savvy. May God bless you and you have a truly great day.