Trying to Grow Alone? Who’s Guiding You This Year?

You trying to grow alone. That's how drifting starts. And it's not because you're weak, but because nobody starts strong in isolation.Lone wolves stumble not from failure, but from carrying what was never meant to be carried alone. But one mentor, one voice, one person who sees what you can't. Hey, that can change everything.Let's talk about building support that lifts you up instead of wearing you down. That's what I'm gonna cover. On today's Confident living with purp. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining me. I'm Ralph.My goal here every day is to help you break that cycle of financial shame and do it with confidence. And a listener recently said, ralph, I want to grow. I want better habits. I want better stewardship. I want better consistency.But when I'm on my own, I drift. Ralph, how do I get accountability without feeling embarrassed or judged? Man, those two things are just there. They just destroy us.Embarrassment and judgment. And if you're feeling that, maybe you felt that before, you're not alone. Guess what? You're human. And study after study shows this.Written goals and accountability check ins make dramatically higher success rates. But even bigger than that, Scripture says it plainly. Look at Proverbs 27:17. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.What is that telling us? Iron doesn't sharpen itself. And guess what? Neither do we. And over the years, I've watched mentorship collapse years of trial and error into months.I've seen people who are trying to do it on their own, they found a mentor and man, they just broke through that cycle right away. I've seen how gentle accountability freed people from years of cycles of shame.And I've also seen that one supportive relationship can unlock confidence people didn't even know they had. I've seen it change people's lives. Here's a truism. People don't grow because someone's pressured them. They grow because someone believed in them.And I believe in you. One listener asked a seasoned couple to mentor them. What did that look like for them? They met for monthly coffees. They had honest budget reviews.They did some simple and doable homework. Let me tell you about what happened one year later. They were debt free. I'm talking about completely debt free.Bigger than that, they were more confident. They were more connected as a couple. And guess what? What? That led to more joyfulness. What was their breakthrough? It was accountability.The accountability didn't shame them, it strengthened them. So here's the deeper question, and I'm getting right to the listener question today. Thank you so much for sending that.How do you stop drifting and start walking with people who sharpen you, challenge you, and help you stay consistent? I'm gonna break it down for you right now. Here's how you sharpen relationships. Number one. It starts with finding a mentor.You need to find somebody with wisdom and experience. Because here's the truth. A mentor helps you skip mistakes they already paid for. My dad always said this. Learn from other people's mistakes.A mentor can help you skip those things. They can remove those scars before they become your scars. Their scars become your shortcuts. You learn from what they went through.Their perspective helps you see around the corners. It's not easy to see around corners, right? Naturally, we can't see around corners. But a mentor, they've been around that corner before.And that wisdom that they have, it saves you time, it saves you money, and listen, it saves you heartache. But here's one thing I'm going to tell you.If you're looking for a mentor or let me see this better, if you want to be a mentor, a good men are listens more than they talk. And this isn't about being worthy of a mentor. A lot of people say, well, Ralph, I'm just starting out. I don't need to win.No, listen, it's not about being worthy of having a mentor. It's about willing to accept the growth that comes from a mentor. So you might say, ralph, that's a great idea. I want to have a mentor.Well, guess what? Be prepared because you're going to be pushed, you're going to be gently nudged. You listen to my show. I hope I'm gently nudging you.I do it out of love, but that's what you should feel. Second thing, choose an accountability partner.You're looking for somebody who's honest and encouraging because this needs to be your growth companion. Don't find somebody that is going to be judgmental. It's not going to work. But you also need somebody that's on. A lot of people will be them. Yes.People tell you, oh, yes, you're doing a great job. You're doing fantastic. That's not the right person for you. A good growth companion asks the questions that you avoid.They ask the questions you don't want to talk about, to be blunt. But they can help show. They can help you show up when motivation fades and motivation fades. They offer encouragement instead of shame.And they remind you of this big picture. They remind you who you're becoming, not who you are right now.We all start from someplace, but we need that person, that accountability person to remind us sometimes at who we're becoming. And that honesty creates transformation. And that encouragement keeps you going.Once you find that person, I'm going to encourage you, set a standing check in schedule. That consistency will help you avoid that drift. And growth happens when meetings are scheduled, not when motivation strikes.So many people say, well, Ralph, I've got this great friend, I've got this accountability partner. And when I get into a rut, that's when I go to meet with them. That's a bad plan. You shouldn't get into the rut in the first place.Choose a rhythm, whether that be weekly, bi weekly, monthly, whatever works for you. Rhythm matters more than frequency. See, you can say, ralph, I talk to this person once a month.Hey, listen, I've got some friends and mentors who I talk to twice a year. They're still valuable to me. And when you do that, make sure you're reviewing the same items each time for clarity.And here's something I will tell you. The moment something gets on the calendar, that drifting begins to disappear. You make a point of it.And last but not least, keep it simple and specific. It's real easy to overload these meetings. Well, I'm going to have this meeting with my mentor.I'm going to talk about this and this and this and this. And you got a laundry list. It looks like Santa's list for Christmas. Don't do that.Focus on one metric, one measurement thing, one habit, and then one next step. Because what you want to build small, steady wins because those things are going to compound faster than giant planes.Giant planes, they're great to have big, hairy, audacious goals, that's fantastic. But with your mentor, just pick one metric or one habit, one next step.Because that consistency will build confidence and that confidence builds momentum. Look at Proverbs 15:22. I've used this on this show a dozen times. Plans fail for the lack of counsel, but then it goes on with many advisors.They succeed. You want to succeed. What is Scripture telling us? Have counsel, have mentors, have accountability partners.I mentioned this on the show a couple days ago. Sometimes God's provision isn't money, it's people. God's given you somebody right in front of you.He's put the person in front of you that he wants you to know, the person that he's providing for you. You may be praying for money, you'd be praying for a miracle. Maybe he's put that miracle Right in front of you.How about we pray together, Lord, as we pray right now, Help to lead me to that right people in our lives to help me to walk with them this year, Lord. But before any of those things, God, give me a teachable spirit, give me a willingness to be flexible.Give me courage to be honest where I'm drifting, Lord, and help me to stay in that consistency. And, Lord, I just ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen. Okay, here's what I want you to do this week.I want you to identify one mentor or one accountability partner for 2026. Send them a message. Set that first meeting. Don't wait for January. A lot of people are going to be flooded in January.They got their New Year's resolutions. I got to go fix these things. Do it now, because growth begins with that first conversation. And listen, I'm going to say something right now.If you have a calling on your life to be that mentor, open the door to somebody. It will change you in ways that I can't even explain. I do that with a lot of people in my business.Also want to invite you now to our financially confident Christian community. Talk about being honest. That's a safe place to be honest without shame. And there you can encourage each other. You can grow. Not about guilt.It's all about helping to build each other up. And as more people join, we'll be adding more resources and expanding what the community can offer.If you want to be part of this building something meaningful, come join us. We'd love to grow this community with you. You go to financiallyconfidentchristian.com/join again. That's financiallyconfidentchristian.com/Join.Growth was never meant to be a solo mission. You don't have to be a lone wolf in this. You're sharpened by people who love you. You're sharpened by people who challenge you.And you're sharpened by people who walk beside you. One relationship, one partner, one mentor can change your entire year, dear. I say change your entire life.Go out there today and be that financially confident Christian that I know you can be. You can do this. Stay financially savvy. God bless you. And you have a great day today.