Why Does Money Make Me Feel Like a Failure?

I got a great question emailed the other day, and I said, you know what?

This is a great thing to talk about today.

Why do I feel like I'm always failing with money no matter how hard I try?

What a great question.

Got this from a listener the other day, and that's exactly what I'm going to answer on today's bonus episode of Financially Confident Christian.

Hello there.

Welcome to your daily Financially Confident Christian.

This is a special bonus episode.

I'm beginning a lot of questions to the show, and I'll talk to you, but later, how you can actually send me your question and have it answered right here on the show.

But I got this one the other day, and.

And it was heartbreaking.

Listen, I've been here, too.

So many of us have faced this very situation.

Why do I feel like I'm always failing with money, Ralph, no matter how hard I try?

And so many people.

And you might be listening right now, maybe you're watching this on YouTube or on Rumble.

So many people set a budget, they just don't stick to it.

They struggle it.

They take the time to track their money, do all the things that they should be doing, but they always feel like they're failing.

It seems like there's always another emergency right around the bend.

Another emergency comes and drains that savings account I've been working so hard to build.

And when that happens, time after time after time, and I deal with this every day in my counseling practice, you start to feel shame.

You start to feel fear.

And sometimes that shame and fear gets heavier than the dollars themselves.

It's one of the reasons I decided to do this show.

It's all about breaking that cycle of financial shame and.

And building confidence.

And here's the statistic that really rattled me.

80%, truly, 80% of people abandon their financial goals within the first year.

Only 22% of Americans actually stick to a budget, even though most would say that's an important thing to do.

So we got to ask the question, why is that?

Why do I feel like I'm always failing?

And the thing I think that a lot of people don't understand is this struggle.

When you have financial setbacks.

And listen, one truism of life, you're going to have financial setbacks, it's going to happen.

But when you struggle, that doesn't mean you failed.

I think about a baseball batter.

Baseball batter goes up to the plate, and if they're a really good hitter, they might hit a third of the time.

Well, I think we need to internalize that a Little bit for ourselves.

These struggles that we have with money, they're really all part of the process.

The thing is, you're not given this tool belt and said, oh, here's your money and your financial tool belt, and go do it.

There isn't such a thing.

Now, you can build that by listening to shows like this, by reading, and by paying attention to what's going on around you as it relates to your finances.

But that struggle that you're feeling, maybe you're feeling that right now.

You're like, ralph, I'm in the midst of the struggle right now.

That's all part of the process.

But even deeper than that, I think, really the question that we need to answer is this.

Where do you see your identity?

Because if you see yourself as a failure, if you see yourself as Ralph, I'm always that person that just constantly makes mistakes.

I can't ever seem to get ahead when that becomes your identity, when your bank account becomes your identity, when what you have becomes your identity.

But so many people look at that and say, well, how come I don't have those things?

How come I don't have that fancy new car?

How come I don't have that vacation home?

How come I'm not taking my family on those elaborate vacations?

So many people are buying into a lie.

And that lie is that their identity comes from their bank account.

And that's what culture sells us.

Culture is constantly telling you that your identity, your value, is based on what you have, what you own, how much is in your bank account, how much is in your retirement account.

But I'm gonna tell you something right now.

If you want to change the dynamic, the first thing you've got to realize is that your identity comes from Christ.

Because that's really the antidote to all of this.

You're not failing.

Christ is right there with you the whole time.

A lot of people say, ralph, you shouldn't talk about money and faith at the same time.

But listen, the two things are interconnected.

People feel like they're failures because they're failing at money, because they identify themselves with what they have.

But see, here's the problem.

We shouldn't be doing that.

I want to read a book of the Philippians, chapter 4, verses 19.

And this is what it says, Philippians 4, 19.

And my God will meet all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

You might be saying, ralph, okay, that sounds great, but, man, that's great.

He's got glory.

But listen, dude, I've got bills to pay.

I've got food to put on the table so my kids can eat.

I've got a mortgage payments coming up, Ralph.

I've got a car payment.

I've got an insurance payment.

The tax bill's coming up.

What is this really saying?

It says that God provides.

Now, a lot of people take that the wrong way and they say, oh, okay, Ralph.

So what you're basically saying is, I don't have to do anything.

God just going to provide it.

No, that's not what I'm saying at all.

A lot of people think, us Christians, they call us, you know, our holy roller, Bible thumpers.

They think.

We think, oh, well, God's going to provide it all.

Yes, he will.

That is the truth in the end.

But you've got work to do.

See, it's not yours in the first place.

A lot of people get hung up on that.

It's not yours in the first place.

But why do you feel like you're failing?

Because, first of all, it's not yours.

You don't own those things.

You're just stewarding those things.

And for so many people, it's really a question of needs versus wants.

So you've got to take and put your trust in Christ, but you also have to take some faithful steps.

So let's talk right now about some faithful steps.

Just one faithful step that you can take right now, today, to stop that cycle of financial shame and finally feel like you're not failing all the time.

I just want you to focus on one single step today.

I want your goal today to be save 10 bucks.

10 bucks.

I just want you to save $10.

Maybe you cancel a subscription, maybe you have a conversation with somebody in your family about money, but just do one thing today.

Just make a goal that I'm going to save $10.

Brainstorm a little bit.

Do you not go to Starbucks?

No.

It could be a subscription you belong to.

It could be the decision whether you eat out or get takeout or you make something at home.

I just want you to find $10 today.

And when you get to that point, celebrate that progress before you put your head on the pillow.

Tonight, say, ralph challenged me to save 10 bucks, and guess what?

I did it.

That's what we call walking in trust.

And as we call making little decisions every day that lead to big financial goals, you're not going to find perfection.

So a lot of people think, and that's one of the biggest struggles.

When I was doing this interview the other day, the thing that somebody asked me, they said, Ralph, why do you think that people beat themselves up so much?

Because they're looking for perfection.

You're never going to get perfection.

And here's another thing I want you to hear, and I want you to hear this loud and clear.

You are not your financial mistakes.

So many people internalize that.

Ralph, I ended up in bankruptcy.

Ralph, I had a car repossessed.

Ralph, I had my home foreclosed on.

Ralph, I had this, I had that, all those things.

And they put that as their identity.

That's kind of what I was talking about a few minutes ago.

You are not your financial mistakes.

You are a child of God.

God loves you.

And here's the thing that a lot of people don't tell you.

God wants you to be successful.

Now, a lot of people think, oh, okay, Ralph's going to talk about prosperity preaching.

That's not at all what I'm saying.

A lot of people think God's going to give me comfort.

God never promised you comfort.

God promised you provision.

Maybe that's the promise.

We're looking for the wrong things.

God promised you provision, not comfort.

And if you've got a question like this person sent in today, I want to tell you right now, I would love to help you break that cycle of financial shame.

You can head over to justaskralph.com you get to that website, there'll be a place there, put your name, put your question in.

And I would love to feature your question on a future show because it's questions like yours that really drive the content of the show.

This is what makes me excited.

So I do these bonus episodes all the time because I'm starting to get questions and I'm really enjoying answering these questions.

So the other thing I'm going to encourage you to do is share the show with somebody.

It's a lot of people that feel that same way, that feel like they're a failure when it comes to their finances.

They don't have to feel that way.

We can help them break that cycle, share the show with them.

Just point them right to our website.

That's financially confidentchristian.com and while they're there, here's a free gift I've got for you.

You get a copy of my latest book.

It's my third book.

It was a passion project of mine.

It's called how to Become a Financially Confident Christian.

It's truly a guidebook.

It's a recap of my 30 years working in this particular area.

I tell stories.

I tell ways to break that cycle finally.

And you get a copy yourself by just going to financially confidentchristian.com becoming go get your copy today.

Again, that's financially confidentchristian.com becoming how about we pray together?

Lord, we come to you today.

We feel like failure sometimes, Lord.

We feel like we're doing our best, Lord, but we just seem to not measure up.

So, Lord, we surrender that to you right now, Lord.

Give us strength.

Give us perseverance, Lord, and help us to see our identity is not what's in our bank account.

It's not what we own.

It's not the stuff that's all around us, Lord, but it's our relationship with you, Lord.

So help us to strengthen that relationship today, Lord.

Help us to build that relationship.

Because we can trust you, Lord.

And we ask that you help us to trust you even more today as we battle these difficult things and our finances, Lord.

And I ask this with complete confidence in the only name that matters, in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

I just want to thank you for joining me for this quick bonus episode again.

If you've got a question you'd like to have answered on the show, go to just ask Ralph.com send me your question and I would love to feature it on the show.

So you have a great day.

Be financially savvy out there.

God bless you and I'll see you next time on the show.