Reclaiming Freedom: The Business Owner's Dilemma

I want to share a question I received the other day.

And let me tell you right now, it's raw.

It's real.

And honestly, it's a question that so many small business owners are silently asking themselves.

And trust me, I've asked it myself many times.

But here's the question.

I thought this was perfect.

I started my business to have more freedom and provide for my family, but now I feel like I'm a slave to it.

I'm always working, and my wife and kids are paying the price.

How can I build a profitable business that actually give me my life back so I can be present for the people I love?

I told you it was raw.

And I told you it was real.

And that question, when you really think about it, that question cuts deep.

Let me tell you right now, I know this pain because I've lived it.

You might be listening to this right now or watching me right now.

You're saying, ralph, I've lived it, too.

And I could tell you right now, there have been seasons in my own life, more often than I care to remember, where the business truly got the best of me, man.

It was everything that I was doing.

I told myself during those seasons, I said, you know what?

I could get through this.

I'm doing this for my wife.

I'm doing this for my kids.

But the reality, I was hardly at home.

It's just the truth.

I missed those family dinners.

I missed those family outings, those constant late nights at the office.

And hey, if I was home, I was in the home office, still a slave to that computer.

My weekends were just stolen by one more small pride.

Just got to get this done real quick.

And what it left behind, in so many ways, it was exhaustion, of course, but it left behind distance.

Distance in my marriage, distance with my children.

And looking back, those moments are some of my biggest regrets in life.

Get ready to celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary this coming Tuesday.

And one of my biggest regrets, and this is the truth.

And if you're listening to me today, I want you to hear this loud and clear, because so many small business people fall into this.

When I coach small business people, one of the main things I tell them is invest in your wife, invest in your family, invest in those things outside of your business.

Because I'm going to tell you right now, if you're listening to this, you might be going through this very thing right now.

You're not alone in this.

And I don't know about you, but I fell into this trap.

I really, truly believed that working more hours would mean I'd be more successful if I just did that one more project.

Word.

A couple more hours, man, the family would love this because we'd be able to do something.

We'd be on to go on vacation.

We could get that thing that they wanted.

I was lying to myself the whole time and I fell into that trap.

Maybe you've fallen into it too.

But here's the thing I need you to hear right now.

The harder you grind in your business.

See, this is the counterintuitive part.

A lot of people don't talk about this.

These financial business gurus, these so called experts.

But the truth is, the harder you grind in your business, the more it robs you of your life.

And it really does.

That's why this question.

When I got this question the other day, I said, you know what, I've got to record a bonus episode.

I was so excited about this.

I didn't even introduce the show.

But this is great.

And growth of business, this is a special bonus episode I want to do because man, when this person sent this to me, I was like, wow, I've got to talk about this.

Which leads me one big thing.

I got a huge announcement to make today.

I am going to be starting a live grit and growth business show.

It's going to be on YouTube live.

It's going to be simulcast on LinkedIn and a bunch of other platforms and it's going to start on Tuesday nights, the first Tuesday of October, October 7th of 2025.

It'll be at 8pm Eastern time.

And it's going to be a great time to come out there, ask your questions in the chat.

Hey, you can even become a studio member if you'd like to come on the show and do some live coaching.

But it's going to be a great show and I'm going to encourage you to ch it out.

But when I got this question, it led me to say, you know what?

There are a lot of small business people out there that feel the same way.

Well, let's get back to today's topic though.

See, freedom doesn't come from working harder.

That's what your question asked.

I thought I'd go into business for myself and I would have this freedom.

But what freedom comes from, and this is something it took me a long time to let me tell you right now, and I'm still learning it to this day, it doesn't come from working harder.

It comes from working smarter.

And in many ways it comes from building systems.

You got to find those systems that let your business run without burning yourself out, because that is truly the path to true profit and that's the path to reclaiming your family.

So now you might be saying, great, Ralph, somebody asked a question, you're agreeing with them.

You've been in this thing.

But how do I fix it?

Well, here's the truth.

I got a couple steps you can take right now, starting today, to finally fix this.

So many people will be impacted by this.

I'm encourage you to share this show because if you're a small business owner or you know somebody that is a small business owner today, today's show will be impactful.

But here's my actionable steps to finally break into this.

The first step, number one thing, you got to do a why check.

You might be saying, ralph, what are you talking about?

One of the main things I talk about when I work with coaching clients is go back to your original reason for starting the business.

For most of us, if we're being honest with ourselves, it wasn't money at all costs.

That wasn't the reason we did it.

For so many of us, it was freedom.

We had a dream, we had a passion, something we wanted to do.

And.

And for many people, I'm speaking for myself more than anybody else.

It was to provide for my family.

And that's why, when you get into the situation, you got to think back to that original why and let that why fuel you to make the changes that you got to make right now.

Because if.

Listen to me, this is a true statement.

About six years ago, my marriage was ending.

We were in divorce court.

I mean, we were two days away from getting divorced.

And it took that ringing of my bell, to be blunt, to finally wake up and realize, Ralph, your wife needs you, your kids need you.

So start there, go back and do a why check and ask yourself, why was it that I started this business?

Because that's going to be your path to freedom.

The second thing you've got to do, we talked about working not harder, but working smarter.

Big thing you got to do is a time audit.

I'm going to encourage you to do this.

I've been doing this for years.

I learned this actually in the Dale Carnegie courses.

Track 1 Full week of every single thing that you do.

I mean, write it down minute by minute, hour by hour.

And then once you do that, I want you to categorize those things really into three main buckets.

Revenue generating tasks, administrative tasks, and personal and family time.

Because you're going to be surprised when you do that.

Listen, I still get Surprised to this day how much time I waste, how much time I use in things that I really don't need to be bothered with.

You're going to be shocked at how much time slips away.

But as with anything I say this on all of my shows, what gets measured gets done.

So you got to go track that.

Go see where your time leaks are.

I think you're going to be surprised at what they are.

And then finally, once you have that data, now it's time to document and delegate.

Pick a couple of those administrative tasks, things that you don't really need to be doing.

As small business owners, we feel like we've got to touch everything.

My wife always says, ralph, you, you're a control freak.

She's right.

And most small business owners are the same.

But find one or two administrative tasks that you can.

You can give to somebody else.

You can delegate.

Maybe you can automate.

I've talked about that in the show the last couple weeks.

Write out the steps and then hand them over to an employee or to a contractor.

Hey, even consider hiring a VA because that one handoff is the seed of a system.

And that system can free you up to give you back time with your family and actually get your life back.

And listen to me.

I want you to hear this loud and clear.

I'll never be able to get back the moments I missed.

And I did irreparable harm to my wife and children because of it.

I'm never going to be able to reclaim that.

I can do the rest of my days being a good husband, being a good father.

But I can tell you this.

Through all of that, I have learned to build a business that serves my life, not the other way around.

I finally was able to do that.

And you can do that today.

Yes, profit matters.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you profit doesn't matter.

People have said to me, ralph, well, if I wasn't working hard, my family wouldn't have anything to eat.

I get that it does matter.

But being present for your people that you love matters more than that.

It's all about relationships.

You listen to nothing else.

I say the rest of my days, focus on the important relationships in your life.

And the good news is, you don't have to choose.

It's not an either or thing.

If you do write systems, if you build those systems, you can truly have both.

And that's what this show is all about.

That's what grit and growth business is all about.

Every week, I bring small business owners ways to build thriving businesses without sacrificing those things that matter the most to them.

And if this hits home for you, I don't want you to carry this alone anymore.

You can send your questions to me@gritandgrowthbusiness.com questions again.

That's gritandgrowthbusiness.com questions.

Or maybe you're ready to start building a business that actually gives you your life back and you want somebody to help you do that.

Listen, you can sign up for my coaching services.

We start with a 15 minute discovery call.

Get to know each other.

You can go to gritandgrowthbusiness.com coaching again.

That's gritandgrowthbusiness.com coaching because I want you to hear this.

Freedom isn't just possible.

It's waiting for you.

It's waiting for you to make that decision, to go get it.

So thank you for joining me today.

As I said, this is an impactful episode.

If you know somebody that can benefit from it, I want to encourage you to share with everybody you know.

Just send them right to our website.

That's gritandgrowthbusiness.com you have a great day today and make sure you join me every week.

And don't forget about the new live show starting on October 7th at 8pm Eastern Time.

I hope you join me for that as well.

Have a great day.